![]() ![]() Sadly, Duke is limited to the same old selection from Duke Nukem 3D, and the ability to only possess two weapons at that. Upon observing Duke's rigid and lifeless avatar in the mirror, the year 1998 seems like a likely candidate.Īll concerns thus far could be alleviated – or at least offset – by a completely outrageous arsenal of top-end weaponry capable of ripping shreds out of the enemy in hugely satisfying gunfights. Somewhere along the line, the fundamental constraints of gravity and freedom of movement were defined. Even environmental objects that can be picked up and thrown suffer from overly enthusiastic clipping, not that it's ever really a requirement to use them in the heat of battle anyway. Duke will use every bit of that additional Ego if he can't move three feet without being stuck in an invisible wall, or shot from behind by an alien before he's afforded the luxury of turning around. The worst part of it all is that it's impossible to determine which developer to blame for this nonsense, there's simply too many to point the finger at.įor all the benefits this additional Ego lends to gameplay, most are removed by the controls, which have the viscosity of peanut butter. As it stands, it's literally just smashing balls around a table. The basketball is horridly inaccurate, and despite the pool table not actually adding any Ego, it could have at least allowed angles and force to be determined. Pinball, for example, features paddles that respond about half a second after they're triggered. By snatching defeat from the claws of minor success, one of the many developers saw fit to make these mini-games about as painful as humanely possible. By posing in front of a mirror, or playing a number of mini-games, Duke's Ego Meter will permanently increase, which acts as a catch-all health system. Lurching between enemy encounters and any quiet spot can find breaks up the action, leaving little recourse but to charge at well-equipped aliens with predictable results.ĭuke's Ego system does present a shimmering star in an otherwise occluded constellation of mediocrity. ![]() ![]() There may be a scant concession to modernity in the auto health regeneration, but even this feels like a last-minute addition as there's no cover system to speak of. Although none of the original Duke titles were particularly strong on such a trivial requirement as a coherent setting, so perhaps that can be forgiven.įrom the opening boss fight consisting of the kind of dodge/fire/reload arena gunplay that might have been considered advanced in Quake II, to the endless corridor traversing scenes with a bizarre requirement to include as much irrelevant platforming as possible, Duke has all the appeal of a Wii shooter. Even the plot remains the same – Earth invaded by aliens, Duke has to fix it. There's no future vision, no innovation to speak of, and no hint that moving the release forward several hardware generations has had any beneficial impact on the title. Fourteen years in the desert however fails to transform Duke into a prophet. The development curve, or rather "flat line", has been well documented. It suffers from a condition previously only found in Call of Duty and various annual sports franchises it's simply too big to pass up, irrespective of whatever caveats anyone can attach to it. So while it's a choice of flushing either the game or money away, it matters little because Duke Nukem Forever will sell faster than My Bloody Valentine iPhone wallpaper. The bloated and buggy shell of a concept already well past whatever acceptable window may have existed for scat and fart jokes – presumably around the time the president of the most powerful country on earth got away with using a cigar as a sexual aid. For the most part, it's an utterly terrible game the digital equivalent of Frankenstein's monster dragged out of a swamp after six days in the sun. This is a fundamental requirement in the interaction between gaming press and the public they serve remove the interest, and need for the site is removed.ĭuke Nukem Forever, therefore, is a threat. The fact that you're reading this means that at some level, you're interested to know what somebody else thinks of a game. ![]()
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